Sunday, October 14, 2012

- One Day -

Imagine waking up in a morning where you could just scream how you feel about something or someone. The universe and reality was built, unfortunately with people who really can't handle seeing other people happy. Eminently, there are also people who are always bringing us down with their oh-so-shallow expectations and all their assumptions of thinking they know who we really are. I guess we all have to work hard to finally show those people that you're well-established and that all your choices are for you and only you.

I can't wait to openly show the world how much something and someone really means to me. A place of no more hiding, secret sneaking and lying; but to live peacefully with everyone that needs to know and accept what they need to. In the mean time, let's all do what we need to first. Keep focus. Watch the finish line, but enjoy the run not the ending. There should be no ending.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

- Good -

Simple. Things are good. On a daily basis, it's always been a beautiful sight to see this brilliant amazing young woman smile. There are just some things you can never let pass. That smile is beautiful... and good.

Today, these cupcakes were my allies.
See? I told you; just beautiful.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

- Silver Platter -

I'm not a brilliant story writer, but since I've been reading a lot and so I thought I'd give it a try. I know it's pretty amateur but I'm pretty happy with this short story. I'd appreciate any feedback you may give. Enjoy :)

Silver Platter
                Millions. Maybe even billions, I don’t know. Daddy never really talked about our wealth, all I know is, we had it; lots and lots of it. He dealt with foreign dudes and was away a lot, but at least he comes back.
                Which is more than what I can say about my mum. I never really knew why, and I never cared why she left. Being an only child, you could sum up my life in four words: I had it all. Though, like any cliché in life, the twist happens like a typhoon. We expect it to come, but the question of intensity will haunt us until it arrives.
                I go to a school where the kids have more green on them than the school grounds do, still it was my kinda crowd. Parties, guys, drugs, alcohol and money; lots and lots of money. I was in my third year – as an ambitious kid hoping to make it big in fashion – when it happened. No, when he happened. Don’t worry, he’s not poor.
                This isn’t that typical, and neither was he. I think his daddy was into ships and exports, or something like that; and they were pretty loaded.
                When we met, cigarettes were our cupid’s arrows and the sound of the rain was our song.
                After our org(anization) had just finished an event for charity at some hotel in Makati, I stepped out for a smoke. The ballroom was freezing, and my blood vessels could spell ‘permafrost’ with no trouble. It was a huge mistake after, since it was just as cold outside the hotel. This was the best mistake I’ve ever made.
                “Cigarette?” Cigarette. That was his first word. He had me at ‘cigarette’. I took it instantly
                and he was such a gentleman to light it as well.
                “Not your crowd?,” he asked.
                “It is. I mean, they are. It’s just friggin’ cold inside, but I can’t really contrast that with this,” I
                said, holding out my hand as a mini-puddle formed in my palm.
                “You’re Emma, right?”
                I instantly died. Those depictions of how these moments are like don’t even come close to how it really feels like. It was like that perfect bite of a burger with all the layers perfectly aligned and equally amounted when you start chewing. It was that perfect. He knew my name. Just my name, but it felt like he knew everything already. He didn’t, but he will.
                “Yeah, but I’m not sure who you are though,” I replied, hoping it’ll sound more cute than offensive.
                Thankfully, he smiled at me. This young man with a Marlboro Black in his right hand, with his sleeves rolled up. Tie loosened with the first button opened and messy hair that was so neat it shouldn’t even be called messy. Yeah, he was smiling at me alright.
                “Daniel, but I go by Dan. It’s much shorter, sharper and precise. It sticks, you know.”
                Daniel. His name was on a Ferris Wheel in my head.
                “Ohh. Okay, Dan. How’d you enjoy our event? How bad was it?,” I was never really good at
                small talk, but I was willing to try with him.
                “Honestly? It’s like any fashion show I’ve been to. People walk, people pose and you’ll get an
                occasional side-effect of blinking too much because of central flashes.”
                He was honest. I sensed a little arrogance, but in the most humble way ever, if that’s even possible.
                “The only reason I came was because our or has this whole ‘tradition’ of being respectful to
                other orgs and so they send representatives to all and every event our school has,” he
                continued.
                “That bad, huh?” I asked, a little disappointed actually.
                “Well,” as he looked directly into my eyes. He smiled, “it’s starting to pick up, as of this very moment.”
                Those words wiped the disappointment off. Clean.
                I don’t’ really smoke. At parties or if the weather suggests, but I’m no smoker. Two or three were usually my limit.
                “Wait,” he said, as I turned to go back inside. “I think… I really want to see you again, if possible.”
                It wasn’t what he said, but it was the ‘really’. Really.
                “Do you have a pen?,” as I reached into my purse and got out a small sticky note. He had a pen. Yeah, he was that guy who seemed to always have a pen to write stuff or sign things. He seemed to be prepared for anything.
                I’ll skip ahead. He called, I answered. He asked me out, I said yes. He held my hand, I squeezed tighter. He held me close, I pulled him closer. The only thing we did together was fall in love. There were moments, lots and lots of it.
                Waiting for the twist? Here it is. There’s no twist; who says there needs to be one? Dan was different in a sense that he was simple, normal, just some guy who fell madly in love and finally opened my eyes to what was important. Living.
                Life isn’t served on a silver platter. Even if you have everything and know everyone, but when you meet the right someone, you won’t care how they serve it, you’ll take it the way they throw it at you. Even if the world will flood you with problems, even if it doesn’t hand you lemons and even when you’re fighting a war armed with nothing but belief; swim, live, fight. Even Da Vinci knew there isn’t a perfect circle, there’re only attempts. Trying is half the battle. If you want it, aim beyond it. After you finish reading this, you’ll realize that there is so much more to life. 

Saturday, September 8, 2012

- Disappointments -

It's been a while since I've written on a more serious note, and this one's about something not everyone knows about me; and with circumstances at the moment, it's necessary. I am the oldest of two siblings, the other being my sister. Like any Filipino family, you are expected to bring home the bacon one day for your immediate family and your own family in the future. My dad and mum both had numerous plans for me. They  wanted me to be an engineer because it was a good job for a man and it was easy to find a job. They saw it to be a fit course for me being that I was amazing at math, but I saw otherwise. I chose to pursue a course in International Relations, because a) I wanted to help people and b) I wanted to see the world. It was that simple, but little did I know under the breath of my parents, they never did like my choice. Almost everyone immediately thinks that a course in the foreign service will lead you to a dead end job making and giving out passports, but we all know they're wrong; dead wrong.

Being in an international school didn't make it any easier. You had to raise your own nation's honor and be a top class student. Unfortunately, I never was. The best I did was being 3rd honors for two consecutive years, but this was just not enough. I don't know if you'd agree with me, but hearing the words 'Why can't you be more like...' or the words 'Look at... he's a good student, be more like him', really kills a person inside. Disappointment kills.

No. I am not blogging because I'm disappointed in people, but because I have disappointed one too many people lately. Recently, a favorite professor of mine talked to me, and it broke me inside to hear the disappointment in his voice as he talked to me. Of all the people I wanted to disappoint, he was not one of them. I came to a point in my life where I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to be sure not to disappoint anyone else who came into my life after I left Brunei, but I failed, miserably. Here's something you should all know. I can handle anything you may throw at me, you can say anything you want about me, but never say you are disappointed in me, because I swear, I am working myself to the bone to make sure I don't disappoint the people I love. Trace it back to my parents if you will, I love them and I always will, but never have I heard the words 'I am proud of you'. Yes, I am able to do good, but to the point of hearing those words, never have I come close. These are four words that I have always done my best to hear. Be it from peers, professors, friends or strangers, I take this and trust very very seriously.

To that professor I disappointed, I apologize to you. You have done nothing but inspire me, but somehow, I managed to screw up all you've done for me. How I will redeem myself is still a lingering question. To my family, I'm sorry okay? I'm not smart or that hardworking, I admit, but please remember that all I've always tried to do is to be enough; no more no less. To the strangers I see, I'm sorry if I have offended or thought ill of you. No one deserves that from anyone, we are all meant to be brothers and sisters. To my friends, whom I think I have disappointed on more than one occasion, I ask for nothing but forgiveness. I may not have given enough of my time and effort for all of you, and you have only me to blame for that. I tend to be selfish at times. To my other half, I apologize if I have disappointed you more times than I have made you smile. I still have a lot to learn, I'm still elementary when it comes to life. All I ask is for all your kind considerations and understanding. We are all here to learn about the right ways to be happy and to make others happy. 

Friday, September 7, 2012

- To Comprehend -

Do you know that question you usually linger on when you're in love? It's a never-ending wonderment of why it's that person. Here's the thing, forget trying to answer that; the best thing for anyone and everyone is just to be happy with whoever that person maybe. You already had a question answered, so there's no point in asking more doubts.

Next thing you should do, hold their hand. Smile at them. Look deeply into their eyes and tell them you love them. After that, you can go on living as world-changing individuals, together. God bless...
Someday they'll write the story that we lived as memories

Sunday, September 2, 2012

- Morning Thoughts -

I figured it out. Being thankful in the morning for everything you have and everything you dream of is definitely something we should always remember to do.

I learned that there are a few beautiful things that make mornings beautiful:
- getting a wake up call/text from that one person you think about first in the morning and last in the evening
- having great hair upon waking up
- stretching
- remembering how awesome the night before was
- waking up next to the person you love the most
- waking up today with the belief that waking up tomorrow will be much better
- having the thin peeking sunlight kiss your skin
- getting a huge hug/kiss for waking up
- praying
- waking up to a hearty breakfast

Still, I think a person is most honest, most raw, most pure and most real in the morning; and if you wake up looking at the mirror happy with yourself, then you're on the right track. Also, it's definitely a plus if you make someone's morning a beautiful awakening and make their today one for the record books. So have at it, and make mornings beautiful. Keep safe and God bless.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

- It's always been you -

Ross: It's always been you.

I've been watching FRIENDS for roughly 5 years now, and every time I watch a random episode, it suddenly flairs up a certain thought that's been boiling in my subconscious mind. In Season 4, the episode 'The One with the Wedding Invitation', Ross remembers when he told Rachel that it was always her. For the FRIENDS enthusiasts out there, we all know that they're relationship has had its fair share of ups and downs, but the ending is... well, it's one for the record books.

It's always been you. Four words. A life time of meaning. Probably because it's not everyday that you will get to tell that to a person who was always there but you never noticed or were to afraid to step up to the play and hit one for the team. Still, I now believe in taking risks, even when you might end up flat on your face. Living with something that happened will always be easier than living with something the could have happened.

I'm not asking you to swallow what I say here, what's important to me is that people remember that nothing is really complicated, we just choose to make it that way. So if you have someone on your mind right now and you really are thinking about them, tell them. There's nothing wrong with that. Recently, there was a shoot out at NY, and it got me thinking about the people who are gone. Did they do everything they always wanted? Did they get to tell the people they love how they feel? Did they live a life worth telling in the next one? All these questions really did a number on me, and with it I figured, you can never tell if your tomorrow will still manage to become a yesterday, like today.

To that special person I've continued to think about consciously and subconsciously, I'm pretty glad that it's always been you. God bless...


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

- A Few Words and A Thousand More -

What is it about her? Everything. I think that's one thing about being in love with the right person, your butterflies also fall in love in your tummy. Soon enough, you're awake to live a reality that was merely a dream before. This is true.

-Memory Lane-

Like the hands of a sculptor, memories mold us into the people we are today. I know we're taught to always look forward in life and accept the past without looking back. Although, sometimes an occasional glance of where you've come from is fairly important. However, tonight's post is about looking back at where we've been to be where we are.

Before you head to bed, look at yourself in the mirror, close your eyes and remember everything as much as you can. All the tears, the smiles, the laughs, the pain, the despair, the hurt, the truth, the honesty, the hate, the love; everything matters. But most of all, it's about how you end up with a person your heart and mind always wanted. It's not about saying a lot of words or over showering them with gifts, it's about making sure they feel the feeling that you feel about them. I think that's the thing with feelings, you're meant to share them with the person who makes you feel alive. Good night...


It was during this moment, I knew she was going to be special. I didn't question any of it., it was already an answer.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

- Punching Underwater -

It's been a while since I've blogged about a hero, with the circumstances at hand with the hard rain and wind, I knew one was bound to appear and I was truly lucky enough to have found him. I first heard of this man as a huge promoter of the rising football scene in the motherland. I met him once in the National Sports Bar grill with Sir Ebong or better known as 'The Blue Haired Fan" of the Philippine Azkals (BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD BTW!!) as they were enjoying the game in the bar like we were. During my OJT in one of the government offices, I saw him there at the lobby's reception desk. Instead of approaching him, I was too caught in being awed by his presence, to a football loving person like me, he was just as famous as the guys on the field. However, what really caught my attention about him were his tweets from Tuesday evening. He tweeted about being in Payatas and helping out people and families who needed aid from the flood. I thought to myself "Wow, he must really love our nation." I saw pictures he tweeted and I ended up adding him on Facebook. Apparently, to my HUGE surprise, this brilliant man from Great Britain has been living in the country for the past 30 years running charities and children's homes for our Filipino youth and at the same time, promotes the beautiful game that is football. Reverend Craig Burrows has also been extremely active in helping our kababayans during Typhoon Ondoy and has not stopped since then. This man who loves this nation so much, does everything in his power to make sure we learn of love and compassion as he preaches it and put it to good use. At first, he was a mere football fan to me, now I see him as a role model. Being a new member of the corporate world next year, I may actually consider working this brilliant man who pretty much showed me that love knows no boundaries, even floods and typhoons. For now, I wish to acknowledge what he has done for our nation and our people. It's amazing that heroes really do come in times of need, and the Philippines is indeed the Land of Heroes. God bless you, Sir Craig Burrows, the spirit of 'bayanihan' is indeed alive in you.

PS:- You may wish to follow him on Twitter: @craigburrows

Saturday, July 28, 2012

-Watch this-

The 27th of July(yesterday) was a 27th of July like no other. It started off a another simple day, however things had a huge twist as soon as we got to class (kinda like all these books we've been reading). I sat in class and Kath handed me a black enveloped packaged which had a small message paper clipped to it reading the words: "...because some infinities are bigger than other infinities" and as I opened it, to my HUGE HUGE surprise, it had the words 'MARVEL' imprinted on the casing. I turned it over to find a watch. Yes, A WATCH!! Like John Mayer and his huge obsession with watches (along with his huge collection and fact that he can tell you what kind of watch you have on just by looking at it), I grew to appreciate all sorts of watches. Simple ones to very very odd ones, but to get a watch from her was very... Well, I'll think of an adjective first.





"LIFENING!!!" Yes! That's the right adjective! Although spell check says otherwise, I still say it was LIFENING. It really gave me life, not literally but both emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It's nice that I now can look at the time and realize that I am not bound by it, but I am ever committed to the giver of the watch; I wouldn't want it any other way.

Once again, thank you, dear. You are definitely good, you are good :) Thank you for the "Happy ending without the ending". God bless...

Friday, July 20, 2012

-Still grasping-

It'a an early Friday morning. Rain falling hard. The sight of water dripping at every corner that the liquid deems worthy of being dripped from. Upon opening the blue and white of the famous social media of our generation, I suddenly had a light urge to click on the profile of the woman I'm dearly in love with. The pictures caught my eye, so I took a few seconds to grab a chair and... perhaps  the right term would be reminisce or linger on the journey we both took in our lives individually. Pictures of times from a mere two years ago, seemed to paint out as a lifetime. Smiles, body movements, dreams and all that comes with being an adolescent kid, they all changed up to this very moment. I cannot stress this enough of how I still smile at the fact that I have her beside me. It's almost as if you were out walking on a sunny day and you just sat and prayed for a miracle and God gave it to you, only after you worked and proved what you had to. Fight the battles you need to, regardless of whether you win or lose, but accept the final judgement.


Our story is not one for novels or storybooks, it's simply for us to know and feel it all. We do not boast or flaunt what we have. We humble ourselves to each other, but most of all to others and to Him. Looking back at it all, we smile; we smile and say 'The road was more than just bumpy, there was no road. We had to make one to get here,' and by golly, that we did. That we did. So dear, as you read this, don't forget to remember how we got here, because I think all the laughs, smiles, tears, walks, talks, calls, text messages, PMs, DMs, tweets and eye contact were all meant to boil down to this, and my dear, again, I cannot stress this enough to you and to others that, it.Was. All. Worth. It. Thanks...

She's a happy kid, and I plan to keep it that way.