This was a letter I wrote, in a form of a short story. It's actually an article for a cousin of mine included in their magazine. Enjoy reading it...

My dear,
It's been a long time since I've heard from you, I do pray that you're well. We're both aware about what happened with you and that guy. I hope that bitterness has not grasped your heart and carried you to change. You were amazing to him. Everything was great with you and him, things were simpleand comfortable, but even the greatest cities had to fall someday, unfortunately. He knew how important you were, he knew you're worth and what you deserved, but as the time passed and minds along with hearts were opened, he started to wonder. Love is about understanding and accepting differences whatever they may be. A mutual respect for any belief between the two of you that never could meet on the same page. He loved how much your faith meant to you, it wasn't your looks, but your personality and heart we're everything to him. Unfortunately, he had his own beliefs, things he couldn't simply disregard for it was all part of who he is. I do hope you understand that, and just because love ended, and dreams were broken, doesn't mean love is just a pipe dream; it just means that he was simply a teacher directing you towards your true future, even thiugh it's not with him. He loves you... so much. Godbless you and do take care. I'd appreciate a reply, whevever you prefer. Remember to live the life you want, it's still your dreams that matter. Farewell.



P/S: Forgive me for being that guy...

Is it right for a man to do right for the interest of his family?? For a man to actually kill? "Thou shalt not kill" , yet people believe in the interests and benefits of the family. "Never take sides against the family'' as Mike Corleone said in "The Godfather". Besides the fact that I haven't blogged in a very long time; I do miss it. Although, I have to say, things I say maight change a little, a different mindset but still the same person writing... and blogging. Well, a huge huge HUGE congratulations to "Pambansang Kamao'' Congressman Manny Pacquiao for winning his 8th title after beating Antonio Margarito; "The Tornado from Tijuana".Manny is also a family man. Despite the controversy surrounding his life as well as his family's, he still continues to love what he does and also to love his country. Manny showed that despite the other fight in the political field, he was not distracted and still continued fighting for what he loved in the first place. In the words of Don Corleone,''It's nothing personal, just business''. Godbless.

It's been ages. Ages since I've blogged. I've just been too busy with everything. School... actually school has really been riding me alot. Not only academically but along with extra curriculars. I've just been yearning for a moment to catch my breathe, because I've been running tons of races lately... I haven't stopped... I need a reason to believe again... lately, I've been fighting myself. A cliche theme in literature of man against himself... Society's been good to me, but not every little bit of it. I'll pray... even much more now... Godbless you all...

I just got back from bowling. It wasn't really my game today, I still lack consistency, I shall work on that more hopefully tomorrow. I've been listening to some of the EPIC songs of our generations. Hands Down and Stolen was a very popular choice on my list. I guess along with the very memorable lyrics, the song's rythm and the fact that Chris (the vocalist) was talking about the best day really paints that picture of how it looked and felt for him. I've also lately been listening to alot of Jimmy Eat World. Songs like Work and The Middle never seem to get old. I guess to me work talks about leaving and trying to move on with whatever you're stuck on. Words like "Work and play were never ok to mix the way we do" just shows how things have their own place and time. I heard John Mayer talking about how he would rather teach song writing than guitar playing. I do agree with that statement. In teaching guitar, it's a system an organisation, but when the topic is song writing; boundaries are nowhere near the whole topic at all. Just go wild with it... write with your soul and let your heart be the author. To quote Dashboard Confessionals "and I knew that you meant it"...



You MEANT it...

Have you ever come across a situation where, you keep playing a scene or situation in your head from the past over and over again, and when you do get to be in the situation again... it's just never the same anymore. Change is inevitable. Who's to blame? Maybe in the end we just have to accept a few things no matter good or bad. Apparently, not everyone blogs anymore; their busy with... surprisingly, not Facebook either. The whole ''having-too-many-things-to-deal-with-so-I-can't-socialize-anymore'' stage has begun for everyone. I'm still doing my best to keep in touch, as much as I can at least. Aside from that, being in a new class with new faces and attitudes are really keeping me on my toes, although I have to admit I'm still kind of hung-up on the holidays,but hopefully I'll pull through. I'm on iTunes everybody. Well, at least I think I am. My friend decided to upload a few songs of mine on iTunes, I'm still gonna get the facts straight on where to go and what to search, but 'll update about it soon. In retrospect, maybe change isn't that bad, we just have to face the music and make sure our voice is louder... loud enough for souls to hear.

I'm not really at liberty to own or be anyone. It's still His will in the end. 75 posts, there should be like an internet award. Like a...a... internet trophy??!! I'm just being weird, no worries~ Well, schools out, and the summer is here. Summer jobs are popping up here and there hope to get an interiew with CCP, Jeremiah, Astrid, Abi and Kath want to tag along; this'll be good. Always wanted to know what that feeling of getting your first pay feels like. Although, the time is from 7-10pm, at least if I go home with people, the commute won't be as frightening. Powerbooks and Fully-booked (both bookstores obviously~) also allow summer jobs. Hmmm, it would be awesome to work in a bookstore, just like in the movies~ Speaking of movies; haven't watched one for nearly 3 months... seriously... All the malls and cinemas are close due to Holy Week. Gives us time to remember the great sacrifice for us. Hopefully, before I go back to Brunei, I get to go back to my province in Quezon to give a huge donation to the kids there. Apparently, public schools in the provices aren't very well taken care of. Kids go to a school where it's too hot to study, books that have faded pages, a school yard that can only fit one class despite the fact that there are more than twenty classes altogether. I could paint you a picture with these words, but don't have to... You all know this is true. So, I plan to buy a fan and since I have tons of old books both here and in Brunei, I'd love to donate it to them, the kids who need it. What I hope to get in return? Nothing... All I need to know is I've done of of God's given tasks and I'm glad did. There's just to many kids here who need help. I once heard someone say "It's not your fault you were born poor, but it's your fault of you don't do anything about it." Do something. You. Me. Everyone should take at least a minute of their lives and take a step back and look. Are you doing what you want? Are yo doing what will please Him? Keep in mind that in the end, we'll all face judgement. Now tell me, what are you going to say?

Is life really just that good? No... It's God who's great :) The first day of exams were quite scary, but I did my best and I'm hoping for the best. Earth hour was amazing here at home; grabbed the guitar and we all just sang outside on the balcony even the neighbours sang along, it was such a bonding moment. Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Jojo were here in Mall of Asia yesterday, but I think they all left this morning. I was supposed to watch it with Ka Siti but along with exams I guess I just really wanted to be with the family during an hour which we gave to the planet. The class is going to be celebrating sometime nextweek like with a movie I think, I ain't quite sure since I'm usually the guy who they just invite I don't normally plan anything. My cousin's graduating tommorow and so I'm cooking for her after I get home from school tommorow, have to get ingredients later after studying. Dad's going to be here in a week to visit me yeay!!!! Hahah~ Jeremiah offered me a job at a call centre although he said the commute is hard but the money is good, so I'll see. I was thinking we could all just wor at the Cultural Centre of the Philippines.Although it doesn't pay alot, thing is you get to watch plays for free and at the same time just hangout i guess... I'm heading back to Brunei very soon... I'm excited but a part of me seems to want to stay... weird, I have to go back early though cause I still have to enroll for the next year of school and JOHN MAYER'S COMING!!!! Margaret said she'll try to go but her mummy might not allow, nevertheless, I'll just go on my own, maybe meet fellow Mayer fans there, never tried meeting people at a concert. I'm gonna be waiting at the exit so I can get a photo with John hopefully hahaha~~ For my Bruneian friends, you guys should tag along with me when I get back here cause I'll still have a month long holiday and I can show you guys around. I'd appreciate it more than you guys will... cause it's more than just showing you malls and awesomeness here, I'm showing you a part of me:) please do consider it, even just five or even three days... I do hope you guys will consider... Well, take care readers... Godbless you all... Keep yourselves happy... in the right ways of course:) Bye~

Dear readers, I'd like to apologize in advance for being gone n the next few days since exams are around the corner. Although I only have 2 days for school, saturday and Monday. It's going to be quite difficult since both days have 3 subjects each. Worried~ but I'm going to be working hard. Right after exams, I'll be getting my license,work for a while and hopefully maybe even go to Boracay; the beach of white sand and clear blue beautiful waters. Well, I wish you all well people... Take care keep smiling, enjoying life and praying for our great God above. :) Au revoir..

Change is really something inevitable ain't it?? It's God's will. It's His will if our dreams change, it's His will if ur hearts tend to fall and break and most of all it's His will on what steps you take. When you get to that phase in your life where there are tons of decisions hanging in front of you; don't pick. Let God do that for you, He'll know what's the best one for you. Honestly, all I need is just time with my thoughts to get my stuff together and make an informed decision. I'm really tired of just being all depressed and sad, so I might as well spend the time being sad on being closer to Him. You gotta keep the fight alive in, "I can feel the pressure" but I can't give up. Ladies and gentlemen, life isn't all fun and games, I'm sure you all know that, but honestly when it's literally only you alone, it gets much much harder than one thinks. Here's a tip for all of you... Pray... you're not alone, you have Him... I'm just hear to face the music... and listen and maybe even play some... Goodbye people... Godbless you all... Bye

WOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!!JOHN MAYER IS GOING TO MANILA ON MAY 16TH!!!!!!!!AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Fan girl much!!! DAMN!!! I've been waiting for so long!!! After watching PARAMORE, who by the way was amazing, Hayley is so cute when she's "rocking" her head out haha~ Especially the fact that we all just screamed along to their songs. There were like 3 songs i wan't familiar with but were all quite good. They only performed for an hour but greatness greatness~~ Back to the big issue of John being here is such a mind blowing thought!! I plan to cut down on expenditures and food since i will definetely have to watch in the front row a GOLD ticket. Hahaha~~ The Philippines is going to be his last venue before going back to the U.S. Thank you thank you John!! Please do rock our socks off WOOOOHHHHHOOOOO!!!! I'm not really sure who I'm bringing to this next concert, but hopefully someone who can appreciate one of the people that God gave amazing guitar skills and showmanship to. Being a fan of John also helped me love God more in a sense. How you ask? Simple... He made us, therefore loving the creation is loving the Creator. Not only John Mayer but even Hendrix, Clapton, Paramore and even other people involved in arts or anything else that would please Him, they are the few that have been very well blessed. Thank You God... Once again, we fall at Your greatness... Your the greatest artist ever... No doubt... And to all "I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you've got to rise above" :) rock on people...

Weeks been really really busy. Haven't even had the time to go out and just enjoy a little. I want to breathe. Things have been ok with...everything. I just really need to breathe. Lately, yearning for things to keep me comfortable and warm. Warm in a sense that I need that comfortable feeling. I guess at the moment I'm just filled with this feeling that I need to get out. I miss my family... alot. Apparently, even the weather doesn't work with me, it's always really really hot outside. To see people walking around talking and stuff, it doesn't make me as sad as it makes me think more. Think about being alone and no one to spoil :( sad isn't yet? Haha but no one's to blame I guess. This is just some phase I have to go through. Although, seriously, I need to go back soon and just enjoy... I need to smile more and feel that warmth again... So that I can breathe...

Today proved to be one of the most eventful... well, to me at least. I had another afternoon in Krispy Kreme; it always is packed during weekends. After that, I decided to dop by "Fully-Booked" a bookstore. I decided to look for something that hadto do with The Simpsons, and successful I was. I bought the "Bart Simpson's Guide to Life". Utterly hilarious. As always The Simpsons have never failed to continue to make me smile. Monday is avery important day for the country as we are celebrating the EDSA revolution. To those who aren't familiar with this, I'll explain. Taking place in 1896, it was also known as the Yellow Revolution due to the abundant presence of yellow ribbons during the revolt. This was an action against the 20 year dictatorship under Martial Law of President Ferdinand Marcos. Heroes for the revolt were Ninoy Aquino; who unfortunately shot dead after his arrival back from the U.S, and his late wife Corazon Aquino; who was the First woman president of the country and of the Democratic Republic. We owe her our freedom up to this day.Many people around the world rejoiced and congratulated Filipinos they knew. Bob Simon, an anchorman at CBS said, "We Americans like to think we taught the Filipinos democracy. Well, tonight they are teaching the world." Nearly 2,000,000 Filipinos were present during the EDSA revolt. To all those men, women and children who stood their ground, thank you... Freedom is not the result of war, but is the result of reasoning...

A classmate of mine, apparently does this as a business, hehe a young entrepreneur. Anyway, her name is Kat, as we call her, cant remember her full name though. So her business is making sweet treats with letters on them. At a first glance these may seem like sweets, but Ladies and Gentlemen, these are CHOCOLATES!!! YES, CHOCOLATES HAHAH!!! I'm sure you can tell how amazed I am, they come in colors of pink, orange, green and almost any available color. She sells them according to number of letters. The little white things are mini mini micro marshmallows. The pink things are CHOCOLATE. Did i mention they have rice crispies in them?? Which make them extra crunchy and good~~ I tried an orange one, which was in the shape of a fish and a letter "A". It tasted like chocolate yet didn't look like one haha. Well, I might get a few orders from Kat soon... She kept laughing at me for being soo amazed at her creation... She decided to just spread love and sweetness through... uhhh... sweet things...i guess haha... Take care readers... Bye...

So Ate Joanne and I concluded how Valentines has become a little overrated. According to national statistics, men spend twice as much as women on this hallmark holiday. It's just sad seeing that people only tend to be all mushy on Valentines day and only on Valentines day. Shouldn't we always be romantic to our loved ones every moment of every day of every hour of every minute of every second of our lives?? It's just sad that being romantic has gone quite overboard. Unfortunately, people both men and women think that being romantic is just another way to "score". Being romantic these days always comes with a side order of being suspicious towards the other person. Haha... well, I guess upon realising this, I guess I just walked through school, train stations and shops to see everyone dressed in red, holding a stuffed toy or flowers. If you ask me, being romantic should be a 24/7 thing. Something with no strings attached just pure love and commitment, what more should be about anyway?? So, in retrospect, show love not only on this date but all the time if possible... spoil the person... just be sure you still have money at the end of the day heh~

Hello dearly beloved, it has been quite sometime since I had a new post up here, do forgive me going AWOL. Exams are here, they've actually been going on for 2 days already. Well, alot has happened since the last time I blogged. Let's start from the beginning. We had an assignment in English where we are to draw a symbol or thing that best describes who we are. I had a last minute idea to represent my self with a hand, long story though. Haha it's hard to describe it, I'll try to post a picture of it soon. Then I'll explain it. Anyway, upon giving my explanation, we all had to write our names on three pieces of paper and then give it to the peopl who's drawing we liked the best. Surprisingly, I had 10 votes haha really surprising. Even a few peopl who I just met voted for me. It was cool. Had a report in Filipino which I wasn't prepared for, but luckily pulled it off haha... Had to read the thing the same day during the subject. Been going to Krispy Kreme alot to study, it's hard studying at home with the laptop and guitar at my disposal. Temptations are near, so I keep my distance. I also had a chance to get to know Abigail, she's actually my seatmate in Physical Science, but only recently really had the chances to talk. Apparently, she's the first person I know who plays the flute. How cool is that?? Laii, Abi (that's what we call her) and I shall jam soon. Her dad is actually a musician on a cruiseline ship which is awesome, if I'm not mistaken he's been doing his job for nearly 20years and has been all over the globe, which is awesome. Well, tommorow is the Filipino exam, wish me luck, I'm really gonna need it. Bye...

Since I don't have a gift so I'm dedicating this post for Siti Nurul Atirah Bte. Hj. Mohd from Brunei Darussalam. A great person, a listener, an open minded girl and most of all an important person to me. I remember meeting here back during my high school dancing days. She was just some girl in the group, but then all of us started to get to know her better, thus striking out the "strangers" title with each other. Although, 2009 proved to make our friendship to a higher level, she became... a sister, someone I would share things and never be afraid to open up. We both had our own issues, so we'd always share them over dinner and talk for hours or so... Those were the days, but we promised we'd do it again when I get back. I don't have to tell you all how great she is, but take my word for it, she's great. Amazing. You should meet her, and please don't judge her by the way she looks, cause she's more than that, much much more. :) Well, I owe her a good present, so Tee, just consider this a pre-gift heh~ Have a great one, I'm sure you'll have an awesome day!!! Bye... Godbless you, Tee...

The world was once green
Then it faded in the sunrise
Now we too face the sun.
But the truth is
We are all just as green as we once were

Because green are the secrets on your tongue
And a whisper between friends
Green is the colour your eyes bled while we lay on the ocean
And the echo of a ripple etched onto your wall
Green is the knife that stabbed into flesh on a dew skidded morning
Green is when the sun finally cleared the mountain after hours of waiting.
And we found we were only deeper in shadow

Green is like blue only not
With a hint of yellow
It is the fingerprint of the dead pressed to our cheek
And the morning when I wake to find myself alone
Green are the chains that hold us down while we fight to turn from the earth
Green is the blood we let slip from between our rancid lips
And the lies we use to shield our eyes
Green is the silence that falls after a child’s cry for help

Green is the smoke that curls up from a dyeing cigarette butt
And the shock the covered your face
Green is the dark hollows under your eyes left from another sleepless night
Your shoes were green when they walked themselves under my messed up bed
And the colour of the whisper that fell from your lips
Green is the dust covering the new way of life
Green is the sky stretching from here to yesterday
Green is the colour of tomorrow
And your eyes as you reach out to meet it

Green by Stormmoon

I finally learned how to put up songs on the blog. So here are a few, do hope you all enjoy it. It's not much but yeah all just for the passion of it. Here's the list:
1) Simplicity

2) Catching snow in the summer

3) The one that got away


PS: Please pardon the fact that it doesn't sound clear nor loud, I only used an acoustic guitar and the laptop, nothing fancy... so yeah... sorry...

P/S: The red star on the right is Mars, tonight is also the night it is visible :)

Once was a good song by Dashboard Confessionals, although, meanings are thrown here and there. I guess I gave this post this title cause today was a day that filled me with the feeling if vindication. Today was an unusual day for me... the first time I was ever late for school. All I did was take a bath, put on th uniform and left quickly. Little did I know, our school was busy with the "Intamurals" it's an inter-college sports competition, so with this plenty of the classes were empty. I thought "I was in a hurry for this??!!" With all these events happening, the other professors didn't even bother to teach, thus we went home early. I actually wanted it to rain today, cause I've been yearning for it since last night, it's only 7pm, I'm still keeping my hopes high. Exams are in two weeks and next weekend our NSTP classes start, that means goodbye weekends, since the classes are on sundays...Hmmm bummer~ but it's serving the community so, hopefully it'll be a good experience. Wel, I'm off readers. Btw, I would like to share some Filipinos who are actually quite famous and I never even knew. Till he sun shine agains...bye...

Ever been torn between two decisions? I have... more than once actually. I think it's just a way for God to keep us empowered although sometimes, I can't help but wonder what we're all made for. It scares me... constantly. It keeps pondering in my mind of what exactly we are to do with our lives. A huge question; a challenge that everyone goes through. Who am I to question Him? Although, I have no doubt in His ways... All I want is a sign... A sign to know where I'm headed and what's this thing people refer to as destiny? My pages aren't done being written, but I already want to read the ending. Patience is something I have, I know I can pull through, but lately, I've been seeing hearing feeling things I can't seem to understand, things I can't read with my naked eyes. It's not bothering my mind as much as it's bothering my heart and my soul. My mind thinks straight but my soul is screaming for an answer to it all. I know we're all meant for so much more...so much... I can never give up even if I wanted to... I was made this way... A man who has a good mind yet always tends to use his heart. A problem or an advantage?? For now, I leave it all to Him... He knows all... and with my humble life I trust Him... I just want to be at peace, to know what I'm meant for... No rush, I'll wait...

Last night was an intense moment. Things happen and people should always have the courage to tell the truth. Anyway, I met a new friend last night, not really met but more of a got to know better. Forgot her full name, but she's called Yan by friends of all ages and races. Another pretty cool person on the face of the earth haha~ I woke up early today to study the Philippine Constitution for a quiz tomorrow, and we went out in our PJs this morning to book for Avatar in 3D. Finally, after a week plus of yearning to watch that show, I can finally boast about watching it. Believe it or not we went there at 11 but 3/4 of the cinema was already booked, luckily there was still a few seats. WOOHHOOOO!!! Alrite, well hopefully this week will have something great to blog about. Take care people...

Today a group of my friends had a talk that mde us all start thinking about what we have nd what we are about to have. It was intense for all of us, I for one felt that it all seemed to make sense in a weird strong right kind of way. Don't you think that the words "I love you" is thrown around too much, people now seem to use it as much as they use the word "man". Is that the value of love these days?? We all agreed that the sacredness and status of love isn't really preserved, it is just a bunch of words people think they know, but even our little group couldn't explain it. Another issue was about makn a choice, as in a really REALLY hard choice. Everyone has to go through making a difficult choice once in their life, it's inevitable. Although, we should always try to look at the big picture in everything we encounter. One of my friends said NEVER EVER jump into a relationship if you don't think there's ever going to be a future with that person, cause once you get into one, commitment and a future is where it's headed. People misunderstand the fact that if you're not gonna be serious and you're only doing it for the sake of just having a relationship, then forget it, cause that relationship is gonna fail for sure. At this age, thinking about this is part of life, we're suppose to think about it, no one's gonna stop us. We all have to know that this is all more than just the spine-tingling moments, the holding hands, the never ending dates... it's much much more. Books movies are all just portraying how simple we wished it all was, but it isn't... welcome to the real world. The conclusion we all had was a few, we had to compromise so that the next time we talked about it, a basis was present. So here they are:

1. ALWAYS ALWAYS REMEMBER, it was God who gave us love, so when you feel it try to be thankful.

2. NEVER be indecisive about anything to do about the commitment in a relationship, cause once you start doubting choices, all of it will start breaking down. In other words, make only one decision and stick to it. Never jump into a relationship if you don't know yourself or you're not ready, cause if the other person is, you'll just break his/her heart.

3. ALWAYS ALWAYS open up to the other person. We found this as the most important, since communication is everything. Don't expect the other to read your mind. It's impossible.

4. NEVER EVER say "I love you" if you don't feel it, cause that makes you seem heartless, and please don't use that as an excuse or a thing to keep something that's not working out attached, cause you're only lying to yourselves.

5. ALWAYS ALWAYS show love, don't say it. The common problem is, people expect the other person to show them love in a way that they wished, but we should try to comprehend and accept whatever it is they give. Always show it when you feel like it, and when it is called for, never hold that back cause the words "I wish I did that, but now I can't" will haunt you.

After our little talk, we all promised that we would always keep each other at bay with these rules. We hope to spread these thoughts with other people that's why I posted it here. We'renot saying we're right, we just hope to help people and open their eyes to the truth so that no one will get hurt and have hearts broken, cause it's never a pretty sight. So, remember to always think about it well before doing anything this vast... always think of your heart and about the truth.

Forgive me for not being around to update the blog for awhile now, I just got back from Brunei yesterday and still pretty tired from it all. I just woke up from a two hour nap, school has not be kind to me at all; grades, subjects and teachers aren't really making it any easier. All I'm hoping for is for things to get better. Before the year ended and I left Brunei again, I lost a few things that I really wish I could have back, but losing something is going to help us prove how that thing is very valuable to us, that we would do anything to get it back and keep it safe. Every tear and pain is part of a bigger picture, but just don't over do it with those elements. The sky here seems to have the same feel, but the oly difference is that you're looking at awesome stars alone, but I'm keeping my head up this time, no more looking down, I have dreams and I need to fulfill them. I also had the unfortunate news of knowing that I won't be able to do the tutoring job, not sure what but neither did any of my other friends. Hopefully if I get to finish my Hws and projects, I'll get a chance to go out and buy DVDs and a few comics, just trying to make this is all good. We had the event of exchanging gifts yesterday, but I only received my gift today, it was an awesome one, it was a special compilation CD/VCD of the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Apparently, the person who got my name was Laii, so she got me that album which has 3 in it and was apparently the last one there, plan to listen to it in a bit, classics and music videos to help relive and continue appreciation for him. For now, I'm just gonna be around, casually living my life, I'm gonna be as bold as love this year... just ask the axis... take care... Salut...