Imagine waking up in a morning where you could just scream how you feel about something or someone. The universe and reality was built, unfortunately with people who really can't handle seeing other people happy. Eminently, there are also people who are always bringing us down with their oh-so-shallow expectations and all their assumptions of thinking they know who we really are. I guess we all have to work hard to finally show those people that you're well-established and that all your choices are for you and only you.

I can't wait to openly show the world how much something and someone really means to me. A place of no more hiding, secret sneaking and lying; but to live peacefully with everyone that needs to know and accept what they need to. In the mean time, let's all do what we need to first. Keep focus. Watch the finish line, but enjoy the run not the ending. There should be no ending.

Simple. Things are good. On a daily basis, it's always been a beautiful sight to see this brilliant amazing young woman smile. There are just some things you can never let pass. That smile is beautiful... and good.

Today, these cupcakes were my allies.

See? I told you; just beautiful.

I'm not a brilliant story writer, but since I've been reading a lot and so I thought I'd give it a try. I know it's pretty amateur but I'm pretty happy with this short story. I'd appreciate any feedback you may give. Enjoy :)

It's been a while since I've written on a more serious note, and this one's about something not everyone knows about me; and with circumstances at the moment, it's necessary. I am the oldest of two siblings, the other being my sister. Like any Filipino family, you are expected to bring home the bacon one day for your immediate family and your own family in the future. My dad and mum both had numerous plans for me. They  wanted me to be an engineer because it was a good job for a man and it was easy to find a job. They saw it to be a fit course for me being that I was amazing at math, but I saw otherwise. I chose to pursue a course in International Relations, because a) I wanted to help people and b) I wanted to see the world. It was that simple, but little did I know under the breath of my parents, they never did like my choice. Almost everyone immediately thinks that a course in the foreign service will lead you to a dead end job making and giving out passports, but we all know they're wrong; dead wrong.

Being in an international school didn't make it any easier. You had to raise your own nation's honor and be a top class student. Unfortunately, I never was. The best I did was being 3rd honors for two consecutive years, but this was just not enough. I don't know if you'd agree with me, but hearing the words 'Why can't you be more like...' or the words 'Look at... he's a good student, be more like him', really kills a person inside. Disappointment kills.

No. I am not blogging because I'm disappointed in people, but because I have disappointed one too many people lately. Recently, a favorite professor of mine talked to me, and it broke me inside to hear the disappointment in his voice as he talked to me. Of all the people I wanted to disappoint, he was not one of them. I came to a point in my life where I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to be sure not to disappoint anyone else who came into my life after I left Brunei, but I failed, miserably. Here's something you should all know. I can handle anything you may throw at me, you can say anything you want about me, but never say you are disappointed in me, because I swear, I am working myself to the bone to make sure I don't disappoint the people I love. Trace it back to my parents if you will, I love them and I always will, but never have I heard the words 'I am proud of you'. Yes, I am able to do good, but to the point of hearing those words, never have I come close. These are four words that I have always done my best to hear. Be it from peers, professors, friends or strangers, I take this and trust very very seriously.

To that professor I disappointed, I apologize to you. You have done nothing but inspire me, but somehow, I managed to screw up all you've done for me. How I will redeem myself is still a lingering question. To my family, I'm sorry okay? I'm not smart or that hardworking, I admit, but please remember that all I've always tried to do is to be enough; no more no less. To the strangers I see, I'm sorry if I have offended or thought ill of you. No one deserves that from anyone, we are all meant to be brothers and sisters. To my friends, whom I think I have disappointed on more than one occasion, I ask for nothing but forgiveness. I may not have given enough of my time and effort for all of you, and you have only me to blame for that. I tend to be selfish at times. To my other half, I apologize if I have disappointed you more times than I have made you smile. I still have a lot to learn, I'm still elementary when it comes to life. All I ask is for all your kind considerations and understanding. We are all here to learn about the right ways to be happy and to make others happy. 

Do you know that question you usually linger on when you're in love? It's a never-ending wonderment of why it's that person. Here's the thing, forget trying to answer that; the best thing for anyone and everyone is just to be happy with whoever that person maybe. You already had a question answered, so there's no point in asking more doubts.

Someday they'll write the story that we lived as memories

I figured it out. Being thankful in the morning for everything you have and everything you dream of is definitely something we should always remember to do.

Like the hands of a sculptor, memories mold us into the people we are today. I know we're taught to always look forward in life and accept the past without looking back. Although, sometimes an occasional glance of where you've come from is fairly important. However, tonight's post is about looking back at where we've been to be where we are.

Before you head to bed, look at yourself in the mirror, close your eyes and remember everything as much as you can. All the tears, the smiles, the laughs, the pain, the despair, the hurt, the truth, the honesty, the hate, the love; everything matters. But most of all, it's about how you end up with a person your heart and mind always wanted. It's not about saying a lot of words or over showering them with gifts, it's about making sure they feel the feeling that you feel about them. I think that's the thing with feelings, you're meant to share them with the person who makes you feel alive. Good night...

It was during this moment, I knew she was going to be special. I didn't question any of it., it was already an answer.

It's been a while since I've blogged about a hero, with the circumstances at hand with the hard rain and wind, I knew one was bound to appear and I was truly lucky enough to have found him. I first heard of this man as a huge promoter of the rising football scene in the motherland. I met him once in the National Sports Bar grill with Sir Ebong or better known as 'The Blue Haired Fan" of the Philippine Azkals (BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD BTW!!) as they were enjoying the game in the bar like we were. During my OJT in one of the government offices, I saw him there at the lobby's reception desk. Instead of approaching him, I was too caught in being awed by his presence, to a football loving person like me, he was just as famous as the guys on the field. However, what really caught my attention about him were his tweets from Tuesday evening. He tweeted about being in Payatas and helping out people and families who needed aid from the flood. I thought to myself "Wow, he must really love our nation." I saw pictures he tweeted and I ended up adding him on Facebook. Apparently, to my HUGE surprise, this brilliant man from Great Britain has been living in the country for the past 30 years running charities and children's homes for our Filipino youth and at the same time, promotes the beautiful game that is football. Reverend Craig Burrows has also been extremely active in helping our kababayans during Typhoon Ondoy and has not stopped since then. This man who loves this nation so much, does everything in his power to make sure we learn of love and compassion as he preaches it and put it to good use. At first, he was a mere football fan to me, now I see him as a role model. Being a new member of the corporate world next year, I may actually consider working this brilliant man who pretty much showed me that love knows no boundaries, even floods and typhoons. For now, I wish to acknowledge what he has done for our nation and our people. It's amazing that heroes really do come in times of need, and the Philippines is indeed the Land of Heroes. God bless you, Sir Craig Burrows, the spirit of 'bayanihan' is indeed alive in you.

PS:- You may wish to follow him on Twitter: @craigburrows

The 27th of July(yesterday) was a 27th of July like no other. It started off a another simple day, however things had a huge twist as soon as we got to class (kinda like all these books we've been reading). I sat in class and Kath handed me a black enveloped packaged which had a small message paper clipped to it reading the words: "...because some infinities are bigger than other infinities" and as I opened it, to my HUGE HUGE surprise, it had the words 'MARVEL' imprinted on the casing. I turned it over to find a watch. Yes, A WATCH!! Like John Mayer and his huge obsession with watches (along with his huge collection and fact that he can tell you what kind of watch you have on just by looking at it), I grew to appreciate all sorts of watches. Simple ones to very very odd ones, but to get a watch from her was very... Well, I'll think of an adjective first.

It'a an early Friday morning. Rain falling hard. The sight of water dripping at every corner that the liquid deems worthy of being dripped from. Upon opening the blue and white of the famous social media of our generation, I suddenly had a light urge to click on the profile of the woman I'm dearly in love with. The pictures caught my eye, so I took a few seconds to grab a chair and... perhaps  the right term would be reminisce or linger on the journey we both took in our lives individually. Pictures of times from a mere two years ago, seemed to paint out as a lifetime. Smiles, body movements, dreams and all that comes with being an adolescent kid, they all changed up to this very moment. I cannot stress this enough of how I still smile at the fact that I have her beside me. It's almost as if you were out walking on a sunny day and you just sat and prayed for a miracle and God gave it to you, only after you worked and proved what you had to. Fight the battles you need to, regardless of whether you win or lose, but accept the final judgement.


Our story is not one for novels or storybooks, it's simply for us to know and feel it all. We do not boast or flaunt what we have. We humble ourselves to each other, but most of all to others and to Him. Looking back at it all, we smile; we smile and say 'The road was more than just bumpy, there was no road. We had to make one to get here,' and by golly, that we did. That we did. So dear, as you read this, don't forget to remember how we got here, because I think all the laughs, smiles, tears, walks, talks, calls, text messages, PMs, DMs, tweets and eye contact were all meant to boil down to this, and my dear, again, I cannot stress this enough to you and to others that, it.Was. All. Worth. It. Thanks...

She's a happy kid, and I plan to keep it that way.

It's raining. Yeah, it makes one wonder about the simple works of nature. Here's how it works, the sun evaporates the water from the earth, it condenses into clouds, when it becomes heavy it falls as rain. Why I'm blogging about this? It's all because we take a lot of things for granted. Go ahead, look back at your today, did you take something for granted? 


Yeah, thought so. 


I guess we're all guilty of this at one point in our life, but don't haste, we are only human. Never be afraid to admit you're human. Your scars and mistakes are your best teachers, and remember with the educational system we're getting these days, we should be happy for the education we get from them. Look at the mirror in your room(we all have one) and then tell that person staring at you this "Look, my mind and heart may be saying a lot of stuff and there are times I get pummeled to the ground by doubts and fears, but heck, I am not giving up. I ain't giving up for me, for the people I love, for my dreams, for my nation, for Him, in retrospect, I am never gonna give up. I will control it all, even the spontaneously planned, expected surprises, fake realities and all the ironies in life. Time to get real."


Done? Brilliant. Now you're ready to face the world. By the way, it's a Sunday, a day of rest. Make sure to tell the people, who have done nothing but worked to make sure you get what you deserve, thank you. Thank you for always believing in you but most importantly, for loving you regardless of what you do, did, or will do. If they're beside you hug them, kiss them, buy them a gift or something. At least you'll know that, you never wasted a day, because you spent every day loving them and making sure they know that :) 

I'll be honest, even after exactly 2 years and 9 months, I still look at her like it's the first time I've laid eyes on her. Her eyes, her smile, her hair, her cute button nose, left dimple and freckle, her hands, her watch on her right hand, I mean, I still look at it all like it's all new to me. It steals my breath how much I smile just by looking at her. I look at stars and see them moving, they actually seem like they're dancing. The wind whispers her name every time it blows and when the rain falls, it reminds us that a simple phone call or text or way of communicating will help warm you up on the inside to get you through the cold weather. I guess it's safe to say these are the realities that poems and novels seem to be made of. With a reality like this, who needs dreams.

“What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her" - Fault in our stars

This is probably going to be one of the fastest posts I will ever have as I will do a practice we learned in CCC (Cross Cultural Communication) called Free writing, and so here I go. Love. I think I've had numerous posts about the subject, but there will definitely be something different about this one. I think one of the most important aspects of love is expression. Expression. That one simple word of high fortitude in the midst of all its meaning that can really dumbfound a person, even at his optimal train of thought and being an academic 'Hercules'. Expression is definitely one of the most abstract and non abstract elements on this planet.


We talk mostly of love that we have encountered in fairy tales, in movies, novels and all the media hype that's been given to us, but in retrospect, REAL LOVE is merely the simplest feelings that make one feel as complex as the unexplained theory in physics to finally understand the secrets of our universe. Why? Have you ever wondered why we love? Is it because of the norm that society has instilled in us? Is it the fault of religion? The fault of government? I blame no one and nothing, because we are all guilty of loving LOVE. It is a something that we are nothing without. The one that is shared between twos, threes, fours etc. A truth that sets us free from the lies. A reality that will seem better than a dream. A feeling that will linger in your thoughts.


Ask me again, why do we love? Simple, because we need to. You will look at that one person and say "I need you. Not physically, not emotionally, I just need you as you. I need you to remind me that being alive means to love with reason and without. I need you to show me the sunset and the sunrise at the same time. I need you to show me the beautiful colors that reside in the black and whites of life. I need you."


Tell them now, "I need you."

"Say hello to good times" - Futures by Jimmy Eat World


I never really knew what that meant, but I guess it's nice not knowing sometimes. I would like to believe that when it comes to planning a future, not knowing maybe an ally, but still, sometimes you need assurance. No one wants to be a failure, but doesn't failing mean we are constantly reminded of our stand on this planet as human beings? Simultaneously, reminding us that making mistakes are meant to teach us. Lately, I've been learning of the importance of being honest to yourself; express without limits because limiting yourself in expression is almost like lying to yourself. Never hold back your 'I love you's or 'I miss you's and 'I need you's; always think of "Now or never" because chances for real happiness don't usually knock twice, but still, always give second chances to others, if they deserve it of course.


Before you head to bed, or end the day with a hot drink, grab your phone, call, text or tweet that one person who really makes you look at the ceiling, thoughtless, at night while waiting for dawn to peek through your window, because all you really want to tell them is "Come on over, because I need you." Go. I'll wait. Believe me, needing someone doesn't make you weak, it makes you real, honest and sincere. Acknowledge that, instead of sleeping with your phone on your chest, hand or under your pillow, try to sleep with a smile. 


Remember: Now or never.

How she does it, I will never know. She knows how to make me laugh, to make me want to smile, how to make me want to change and move one but most of all she taught me how to live a life not only for me, but for others as well. There are a lot of things happening, things seem to be very fast paced, but with her, I can see things differently, things seem slower, more enhanced, it's kinda like being high on 'NZT' from the movie 'Limitless' everything makes sense and all the answers seem to just come naturally. Basically, I'm pretty much carrying a lot of things on my shoulders, but thankfully, she makes it all feel much lighter. I look at her daily as if I've just met her for the first time, it's always something different, something diverse, something real. There is definitely nothing more I could ask for, why ask for the best when I have the best. To keep me sane, we act a little crazy and laugh our troubles away.


My dear, thank you. You're really... the best.

Trust is knowing without asking. It's about ensuring not forcing. This post is gonna be a quick and short but precise entry. I just want to let you all know that life is not simply about having everything in life, it's about living for a bigger cause. Something much bigger than your body gives you credit for. And in closing before time runs out, tell everyone you love how much you love them, but most importantly make them FEEL the love. Remember, trust in life, trust in love, trust in HIM. Trust, never doubt. God bless...

Ever wondered about the broad and general meaning of consistency? I think its concept is a lot like an abstract painting; it can be stretched as far as you can imagine or can be as basic as the thinkable. The thing with consistency is, it's a specificity; it's part of the little things that you need to take note of.

I always took the little things into consideration, because every great ant hill was made with a tiny grain of sand and with it, you know it could grow into something magnificent. You may have those 'Why bother?' moments but rest assured, that just means the victory will be much more blissful.

Perhaps, in conclusion, it's all about what you believe to be right and consistent for that matter. After all, we have beliefs so we can uphold them and hope everyone gets why we have them in the first place. Keep focus and keep moving. God bless...

Stand. Just stand, because sitting in the corner continually wondering won't get you places. Perhaps in retrospect, we all need to keep moving to keep the ball rolling. Just like in football, you need to keep moving to get the ball to the goal. Goal, we all need that goal. But what exactly am I talking about, is entirely up to how you want to decipher it all, after all, we live in a world with the right to thought.


Just remember that if you're not doing it for anyone, then it might not be worth doing. Look up to the sky and feel the calm presence of reality; a reality which is up to you to make and create. Imagination is key, and living; well, living is the result.

We all have deep deep moments of thought once in a while for reasons known and unknown; what's definite is, it's inevitable. Over thinking maybe a disease, but so is under thinking about important decisions to be made. All in all, we think so we may understand, but the problem is, we forget that thinking is not even half the battle. It's DOING that is the start of the battle.

It's funny that we all have to study about great THINKERS in school, yet have we ever stopped to study the great DOERS of history. Isn't application much more important than simply planning? I think the reality we are living in right now is all thanks to risk takers, fearless men and women, out of the box people, simply put; the DOERS.

If not now when? Who knows, your small choice in action may affect an even bigger cycle in the universe for everyone's benefit. Live strong.

A person's hard work and effort is always appreciated, but there will always come a time when someone in your life will make your time together amazing, near effortless. A person who just understands why you do what you do, or believe what you believe and accept everything about you that has always been misunderstood. At some point of the naturalism that person seems to portray, it almost seems as if they were made EXACTLY for you.

Seeing that I've been watching too many superhero movies, the comic references are just so uncanny. Isolation, I think that's what every hero can actually achieve by simply flying away, teleporting or web swinging away for time to think. As a normal human being maybe we all have times we wish we could run out into the night and just stay up in the rooftops to just... think.

Season 9, Episode 9. Clark and Lois having an epic moment:

Clark:I almost lost you once, I don't want it to happen again. Lois, what are we doing?
Lois: I'm eating a maple doughnut and you're, kinda invading my personal space...
Clark: I mean US... Lois and Clark, Clark and Lois, as a couple.
Lois: WOHH! Cowboy! You just went from ten to like a hundred and ten in two seconds flat. Let's just, slow it down. I... I still need to get my feet back under me.
Clark: Well, you can lean on me, for strength. I feel stronger when you're around anyway.
Lois: Clark, I have done this dating thing wrong so many times.
Clark: Then let's do it right, let's take our time.

It was worth blogging, because it made sense. It makes perfect sense.

While catching up on my news reading, the news of a student gunmen going berserk in a Christian college in Oakland, California caught my eye and opened my heart to a realization that, there is something wrong.

"Investigators have said Goh was angry about being teased for his poor English at the school, which is focused on serving Korean immigrants but is attended by students from around the world. Victims of Monday's shootings came from a number of countries, including Korea, Nepal, Nigeria and the Philippines." (Philippine Star)

The suspect was named One Goh, a Korean whose aim was nothing more than to serve his people, just like any other student gaining an education abroad. Another source said " Goh had dropped out of the nursing program at the tiny private school around November and became angry when she told him the school could not refund all his tuition money." And yes, you read right, one of the victims was a Katleen Ping who was 24 who had a 4 year old son left while her husband is here in the nation, a Filipino.


How is it that in a nation that promises you dreams and endless chances, numerous cases of killings in schools happen? Schools are supposed to be one of the most secured places in any nation because these act as a factory for the youth's dreams and start changing the world. I'm not angry, but rather sad that 7 students whose lives were wasted could've been a huge asset to everyone. Something's wrong with the system, not domestically, but internationally. This may seem to be an issue for the US to handle, but I still think the world should take notice of this happening to avoid it from happening again; because a student from one country killing students from other countries is almost the same as a nation going to war.

True love? No no no. That intro would be too cliche, even for me; but jokes aside, what exactly is 'true love'? I haven't had a post about LOVE in a while; it's probably because I don't know what to put anymore or what to portray at all, but tonight, well, tonight is special. Being that it's Good Friday, we all witness over and over again one of the greatest acts of True Love for mankind, the sacrifice that Christ has done for us. No questions asked, He just LOVED. He was honest, He showed it, He said it, even when He would be doubted and misunderstood, He showed His love.


It's amazing what True Love does for a person, what this mysterious element does to humans that make them act so unorthodox, yet so passionate about it. People say True Love is about sacrifice; it's about making one of the hardest decisions in life that will make you both happy and sad at the same time. Others say, True Love is that feeling of butterflies, of palpitations and all that mushy stuff you read in fairy tales. A realist would probably say True Love is just a huge factor that blinds or deafens a person to think logically, yet make decisions so right, so honest.


To me? I think True Love is a simple concept yet so complex to grasp. It's the easiest to feel yet hardest to express. True Love will consist of a selfish feeling to portray your selflessness to that one special person who you want to see morning and day, whether they're awake or asleep. True Love doesn't need to exist between two people with the same train of thought, they just need to be on the same track and end up at the same station. Two people who know True Love don't need to continually say it, but need to express it honestly without boast. Love knows no color, belief, religion nor choice; it's just LOVE. True LOVE. Before you end your day/night (depending on where you are) remember, True Love is not merely a feeling, but a choice. Be honest in it, tell him/her, before it's too late.


Although, True Love is Fate's best friend, so maybe, all this time, it was never too late, it was just, taking its time.

333 years; but it seems to be just like yesterday that the Spaniards were here still controlling our minds, beliefs and lives, but tell me, is it any different now? I find it hard to accept that we seem to have forgotten what our forefathers fought for, what they teach us in school about a writer who fought the wars with his mighty pen and one who showed his pride by fighting wars with his sword ready to die for his nation or the people who take so much pride in being a Filipino when in reality it seems to be more of something to be ashamed of.

What's missing? Historical reminders? Present conditions? Are these not enough to remind us that we're meant for more than what we have now. The freedom our forefathers fought for did not have a picture of public servants having thick wallets, of Filipinos trying so hard to be COCONUTS (brown outside but white inside), of people who are ashamed of their own fellow country men in times of mistakes and can never forgive them; we talk so much of UNITY, do we even know what it is? Don't swallow everything they tell you or show you, ASK QUESTIONS. The system will always have a hidden agenda no matter how 'win win' the situation seems; in the talk about a nation, nothing is as it seems. Before we apply for that great paying job abroad, let's look back and see who really needs our services; another world power, or our nation? My dear countrymen, I ask, HAVE WE FORGOTTEN?